Three things required for a successful relationship.

There are times when I honestly have no idea what to blog about, so I don’t. My muse is all over the place, so sometimes my thoughts never get written down. Like a lot of people, I have my most mind-opening thoughts when I’m taking a shower. I don’t know what it is about the shower, but whenever I’m there, standing under the steaming water, I feel like a genius. I even talk to myself sometimes (but let’s not go into that).

Now that I’m on holidays, I’m forcing myself to blog more. I want to come back to this website in two years time, and compare my writing as a 20-year-old and 22-year-old, and see if I’ve improved. I want to know whether my personality will change over the next two years, and whether I will hold the same views on life as I do now. But in order to compare, I need to start writing more. Perhaps once or twice a week. Whenever I feel inspired I guess.

I really had no idea what I wanted to blog about when I sat down to write this. Two paragraphs down, and I’m still a little rocky on the whole idea for this entry. But as my username states, this blog exists to express my thoughts and ponderings. My everyday life and the experiences I’ve been through. So what better way to kick off my new blogging routine than to start with the freshest experience on my mind as of right now? My love life.

I know no one wants to read about my love life. Honestly, it’s not that exciting. Things are actually going pretty well with my boyfriend, so I haven’t found the need to rant or punch my pillow in anger. But I’m not saying the past six months have been full of rainbows and unicorns either. There’s been ups and downs, but I think we’ve been able to work through them due to a number of reasons. And I’m going to list them down here. I believe these next few points really do encompass the idea of how a good and healthy relationship should work, and how to make sure you don’t rip each others’ throats out due to a disagreement. By no means am I an expert in this field, but I’ve found that it’s working for me, and they are just pointers you may want to consider for your relationship or when you get into one.

1. Communication is ESSENTIAL.

I know this is an easy one. So why am I including it? Because it’s amazing how many people don’t understand this concept. I wouldn’t say this is restricted to only your love-relationships, communication is key to all aspects of your life. Uni, work, family, friends. I often wonder how the shy people from high school end up. Whether they’ll have opened up in uni and welcomed new people into their lives – or whether they’re still the same, and haven’t found a way to come out of their shell yet. Having worked in hospitality for six years, I know how important of a skill this is. You need it for EVERYTHING, and it’s not easily taught, unfortunately. It takes years for some people to open up and develop an open personality. I mean, just think about it. Some people’s greatest fear is public speaking. This fear is ranked number one in the world, higher than the fear of death itself. Public speaking is a form of communication. If you fear it, you can rule out basically all the political and CEO jobs out there, because it’s probably not the right one for you.

Back to communication within a love-relationship – it is the KEY to it’s success (my opinion). I have a friend, let’s call him Brad, whose one month relationship disintegrated into dust because of a lack of communication. His girlfriend liked the traditional methods of communicating, where she expected the guy to initiate all daily conversations, regardless if it was via text, face-to-face or online. Brad, on the other hand, didn’t realise her need for him to initiate communication everyday, and long story short…Brad ended the relationship. I’m not saying Brad is completely in the right here either. What I’m trying to point out is that talking to each other about your expectations and what you want in a relationship is SO important if you want the relationship to succeed. Communication is how we formed these relationships in the first place, and it makes sense that it’s what’s required for it to last.

2. Compromise.

Every individual in a relationship is different. We all have different beliefs, different needs, wants and also different schedules. It is important to understand where the other is coming from when they are busy. No one is free 24/7, and you can’t expect people to drop everything and hang with you whenever you want them to. This is where compromising comes in. My relationship is based solely on this. I rarely see my boyfriend, and although it hurts and sucks, I understand that sometimes, your free times don’t match up or both of you are swamped with work. Neither party should be demanding in this situation, because when you are able to see each other, the time apart just shows you how much they mean to you. Spending time apart makes being together more meaningful.

I know a couple who must see each other a minimum amount each week. And although I’m jealous of the amount of time they are able to spend with each other, a relationship should not be based on a quantity of hours. It doesn’t mean you have a better relationship because you spend more time with your partner in comparison with your friends because all relationship are different and cannot by measured by a numerical amount. It is in fact, all about give-and-take. It only succeeds if you are able to stop thinking about yourself, stop being selfish and be understanding to your partner’s needs.

3. Mix it up – Get out of the rut.

No body hates routine more than me. It’s why I’ve stuck with the hospitality industry for almost six years. I can never see myself working in retail or behind a desk for long periods because it just sounds mind-numbingly boring. And in a relationship, it would be the same. I thrive on changes, it really does excite me, and I think every relationship should mix it up every now and then to keep the romance going. It doesn’t even have to be major changes. I’m talking – if you always go to a certain restaurant for dates, perhaps try a new place in a different suburb. Pick a different date night. Take a salsa class or even better, tango. Just try not to fall into a ‘rut’ because as we all know, when something gets boring, it won’t hold your attention for long. It is exactly the same in a relationship.

Ok, to be honest, I don’t HATE routine. Sometimes it works out great for me (especially having steady work shifts every week). But if you’re feeling a little bored of your relationship, maybe try something new, because you never know, you could be stuck in a rut. And that can be easily fixed…most of the time.


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